Homemade Almond Milk Recipe
https://www.thekitchn.com/how-to-make-almond-milk-at-home-cooking-lessons-from-the-kitchn-189996almond milk. homemade.
people think it’s fancy. it’s not fancy. it’s just… you know when you buy the carton one and it tastes like paper? that’s why you make it yourself.
so first… the almonds.
ehn… raw almonds. not roasted. if you bring roasted ones, I will use them for something else. one cup. how much is one cup? this mug. the one with the crack. yeah that one.
but before you buy… smell am. I’m serious. open the bag and smell. if it smells like old oil, like crayon, like the inside of your mama’s handbag from 1999… don’t buy it. I bought bad ones once. I said “ah cheap price” the milk came out bitter. my neighbor tasted it, she looked at me, she said “bubby what is this?” I just poured it down the sink. waste of money.
so soak. overnight. cold water. I know you forgot. we all forget. here’s what I do when I forget… I boil water. pour it over the almonds. cover. wait thirty minutes. it works but not perfect. the texture… ehn… okay but not great. don’t do it every time.
after soaking… drain. rinse. touch one. it should be soft. like… not mushy but soft. if it’s still hard, you didn’t wait. soak more. go watch tiktok.
now blender.
put almonds inside. add water. four cups. but biko… taste the water first. I’m serious. I used bad tap water once, the milk came out tasting like pipe. vanilla couldn’t save it. so taste.
add two dates. medjool. if you only have those small dry ones… soak them too. hot water. ten minutes. otherwise you’ll get little hard pieces floating. annoying.
vanilla. one teaspoon. cheap one. salt… tiny pinch. like this much (shows with fingers)
blend. high speed. one minute. two minutes. watch it turn white. if your blender starts making that sound… grrrrrrrr like it’s dying… stop. let it rest. I killed a blender. my wife said “I told you to buy the expensive one” I said “shut up” but she was right.
if your blender is weak… add one cup water first, blend to paste, then add the rest. don’t force it.
ok now straining.
this is where people cry.
you need a bag. nut milk bag. or clean white cloth. the one for pap. pour everything inside. squeeze.
squeeze like… you know when you’re squeezing anger out? like that. but steady. not crazy. the white liquid comes out. the stuff left inside… don’t throw it. I freeze mine. put in smoothies. or mix with oats. bake cookies. waste is bad.
no bag? use fine sieve and spoon. press. it will be thicker. still fine.
pour into bottle. glass or plastic. fridge. wait one hour.
now listen… the milk will separate. every time. white at bottom, water on top. so shake before you pour. shake well. if you forget to shake… you will pour watery liquid first, then at the end you will get white sludge. I did this at a friend’s house. she said “why is my coffee weak?” I said nothing.
how long? three days. four if fridge is cold. after that… smell it. if it smells sour… throw. don’t taste. I tasted bad milk once. my stomach… eh… I won’t tell you the rest.
what to use? coffee. smoothies. oatmeal. cereal. don’t use for hot soup. it will split. ugly.
want chocolate? add cocoa and one more date. want cinnamon? add. want protein? skip dates, add protein after straining.
that’s it.
