https://feelgoodfoodie.net/recipe/healthy-tuna-salad/Healthy Tuna Salad Recipe
ok so you want my tuna salad. alright. but first listen
I aint gonna call it healthy. healthy is a word people use to feel good about eating cardboard. I call it tuna salad that doesn’t make you wanna cry that is better
so i open two cans. tuna in water. not oil. I SAID NOT OIL. oil makes it greasy and then the yogurt slides off you ever see that happen? its ugly. so water. two cans. 5 ounce each. drain them. and I mean drain. press the lid down hard. like you angry at the tuna. then take a paper towel and press again. why? because i once made this for a funeral and I didnt drain it well and by the time they opened the container it was swimming. SWIMMING. i wanted to die. so press hard
ok tuna in a bowl. flake with a fork. not crazy just break the big chunks. you want it fluffy not mashed mashed tuna is for babies
now celery red onion. chop them small. like real small. size of a grain of rice. because nobody wants to bite into a big chunk of onion that is assault. quarter cup each
if the onion too strong? chop it then put it in cold water for 5 minutes then drain. this trick came from a line cook in a diner in ohio I don’t even remember his name. but it works. takes the sting out but keeps the crunch
parsley? if i have it i chop some. if i dont i dont care
now the dressing. this is where everyone messes up
greek yogurt. full fat. not non fat. non fat yogurt is a scam. its watery and sour. full fat or 2%. quarter cup
olive oil. 1 tablespoon
lemon juice. fresh. squeeze it yourself. not from that green bottle. that bottle is poison. 1 tablespoon
dijon mustard. 1 tablespoon. not yellow. yellow is for hot dogs
salt. half teaspoon
black pepper quarter teaspoon
mix that in a bowl. or a mug. I use a mug cause all my bowls are dirty
now here is the part I learned from messing up
before you pour the dressing, put the celery, onion, and parsley into the tuna. mix them around dry. just stir. this breaks up the tuna clumps. so when the dressing goes in, everything gets coated even. if you skip this you get dry pockets. and dry pockets are sad
then pour the dressing. and fold. gently. ten folds. twelve max. stop. if you keep going you get paste. paste is for hospitals
taste it. it needs more salt. i promise. add another quarter teaspoon. maybe more lemon. maybe not. I dont know your life
that is it. ten minutes maybe fifteen if you slow
now problems
too dry? add olive oil and lemon. not more yogurt
too wet? you didn’t drain the tuna. I told you now chop some cucumber fine and mix it in. yeah cucumber. it soaks up the extra liquid sounds weird. Works dont ask me why
can you make ahead? yes. two days. three days and the onion gets mean. and the tuna starts smelling like a fishing boat
can you double? yes but don’t double the onion use less and mix in two bowls. one big bowl makes you overmix and then paste again
what do I eat it with? I dont care. lettuce wraps bread crackers. a spoon at midnight standing in front of the fridge in my underwear. no judgment
would I serve this to paying customers? yes but I would put it on a nice plate with some arugula and charge them sixteen dollars and they would say chef this is wonderful and i would say thank you while knowing i opened two cans and used a coffee mug
there. That is it
