JACK STACK COLESLAW – NA HOW I DEY MAKE AM
Ah, biko listen.
I no like coleslaw before. True talk. Na that watery one wey dey for parties you know am? The one wey the cabbage just dey float inside white water. When you chop am, e just dey soggy. No crunch. No taste. Na only God know why people dey serve am.
Then one day, I go Jack Stack. I order my meat, them bring small coleslaw for side. I no even want chop am. But I just try am small.
Eh.
My mouth open.
The thing dey CRUNCH. Like fresh cabbage. But the dressing smooth. Creamy but not heavy. And e get that small sharpness wey make you want more chop.
I tell myself “I must learn how to make this one.”
So I go my kitchen. I spoil many batches. My children run away when they see coleslaw again. But after many tries, I get am. So let me show you.
Cabbage matter
First thing. No buy that bagged cabbage o. I beg you. The one wey they don cut already. Na waste of money. That one don dry and e no get crunch again.
Go to market. Buy one whole green cabbage. Hold am for hand. E suppose heavy. No soft spot. No brown leaf.
Now, how you go cut am?
You need fine strips. Like matchstick. If e too thick, the dressing no go stick. You go bite cabbage alone, no taste anything. If e too thin, e go turn to mush for fridge.
I use mandoline. But I don cut my finger twice. Blood everywhere. So if you no trust yourself, use knife. Slow and steady.
Cut the cabbage into four parts. Then slice am thin. Then cut the long strips into small pieces like two or three inches. Nobody want to dey chew one long cabbage rope.
One trick I learn by mistake: after you cut am, put am for bowl. No cover am. Put am for fridge for one hour. The top go dry small. Then when you add dressing later, the dressing go stick well. No water go gather for bottom.
Dressing this one na the secret
You need these things:
Mayonnaise three quarter cup. Use good brand. Duke’s or Hellmann’s. Not that salad cream. That one different thing.
Milk half cup. Any milk.
Buttermilk half cup. This one dey give that sour sour taste wey sweet.
If you no get buttermilk, do this: half cup milk, add one tablespoon lemon juice or vinegar, stir am, leave am for five minutes. E go turn sour. Na emergency method.
Now the secret wey nobody dey tell you.
Fresh onion. Grate am. Use that small grater. You want the juice and the pulp. About one teaspoon. No chop am o. No use onion powder. Fresh grated onion. That one na the magic.
I find out by accident. One day I run out of onion powder. I too lazy to go buy. I just grate raw onion put inside. When I taste am, I say “Ah! This na the thing wey don miss for my coleslaw all these years.”
You can still add small onion powder quarter teaspoon. I add am. But e no be must.
Sugar – three tablespoon. But start with two. Taste. Some cabbage sweet pass others.
Salt – one and half teaspoon. But add small by small.
Pepper – just small grinding.
Lemon juice – one tablespoon. Use fresh lemon. That bottle lemon no get power.
How to mix am
Put your shredded cabbage for big bowl. Add one carrot wey you grate. Carrot dey add sweetness and color. No skip am.
For another bowl, mix your mayo, milk, buttermilk. Whisk until smooth.
Add your grated onion, onion powder (if using), sugar, salt, pepper, lemon juice. Whisk again.
Now taste this dressing small.
Na here many people dey get am wrong.
The dressing suppose taste TOO STRONG. Too tangy. Too salty. Because when e sit on top cabbage for many hours, the cabbage go release water. E go balance everything.
If your dressing taste perfect now, the final coleslaw go taste like nothing tomorrow. I learn this one after wasting many ingredients.
Pour half of the dressing on top cabbage. Mix am with your hand. Yes, your hand. Wear glove if you like. Mix well.
Then pour the rest. Mix again for two minutes.
Every cabbage suppose shine but no puddle for bottom. If you see puddle, you add too much dressing. Fix am by adding more shredded cabbage.
The waiting – biko no rush
Cover the bowl. Put for fridge.
Leave am there.
Twelve hours. Minimum.
Twenty-four hours better.
I know. You hungry. You want taste am now. I understand.
But I swear, if you serve am same day, you go chop am and say “e good but not like Jack Stack.” You go feel small disappointment.
Then next morning, you go open fridge, see the bowl, take one spoon just to taste. And your eye go open. You go say “Oh my God. So this na the real thing.”
I do this for party before. Made big batch. Served after two hours. People say e good but no special. I feel sad. Next day, I eat the leftovers for kitchen, standing up, and I almost cry. That one na the real coleslaw.
So wait.
How to serve
Take am out of fridge ten minutes before you chop. Stir am once.
If e look dry because cabbage fit drink all the liquid no add milk by itself. Mix two tablespoon milk with one tablespoon mayo for cup, then pour inside and stir.
This coleslaw fit accompany anything. Pulled pork sandwich? Put am on top. Fried fish? Side. Hot dog? Yes. Even taco. I try am before.
If you dey go party and the thing go sit outside for two hours, put the bowl inside bigger bowl of ice. Coleslaw no like hot weather. And keep am for shade.
If something spoil
Too salty? Add more shredded cabbage and small milk. Mix am. The new cabbage go soak the salt.
Too watery? Drain am with colander over bowl. Keep the liquid. Put the slaw back for bowl. For separate cup, mix two tablespoon of the liquid with two tablespoon mayo and one teaspoon sugar. Pour back inside. Mix. E no go last another day but you fit serve am that night.
Cabbage turn pink? You use red cabbage. E okay. Same taste. Just different color.
Watery from the start? Your cabbage old or you no keep am cold. Next time, shred am and leave for fridge uncovered for one hour before adding dressing.
Storage and last talk
This one fit last three or four days for fridge for tight container. But best to chop am within two days.
Freeze am? No. Never. The mayo and buttermilk go separate. E go turn to grainy water. I try am before. E no work.
Gluten free? Yes. But check your mayo.
Biko, that na all.
No be hard thing. Only hard thing na to wait. So make am tonight, put for fridge, go sleep, and chop am tomorrow with your favorite meat.
You go come back and tell me “Bubby you correct.”
I know.
